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Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: May 21, 2008
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

0:00 I played an early build of the game at E3 '07, and have tried it a few times since, but this will be my first full hour with the game.

0:01 Prepared to start: all decked out in a t-shirt, gym shorts and the super-cute promotional Wii Fit socks sent by Nintendo. Got a cup of cold water handy, too.

0:02 This minute spent synching the Balance Board with the Wii, a relatively painless process.

0:03 An anthropomorphic Balance Board pops up on screen and tells me, "Hello, and welcome to Wii Fit." I pick out my Mii from the list and he drops in from the sky with white pants and a green shirt that says "Wii" on it. The balance board lectures me about how the world's posture is going to hell in a handbasket. He sounds like a cranky old man. My Mii listens and nods intently. I can't say I do the same.

0:04 I enter my height and date of birth. The Wii says "Great" in a cute robotic voice as I make my selections.

0:05 "Starting up ... step on" in the same robotic voice. "Ready!" The game asks how heavy my clothes are. That's a bit of a personal question for so early in our relationship, don't you think?

0:06 "Release the tension in your shoulders and relax." Done and done. "Measuring ... measuring ... measuring ... all done!" This robotic voice is the cutest thing ever.

0:07 The game tells me I am leaning slightly to my left. Who knew?! It tries to scare me straight, saying this can lead to back pain and presumably other problems.

0:08 On to the scary BMI scale. I am just on the upper edge of normal -- 24.66 BMI. Over 25 and I may have increased health risks, so I'd better watch it. The basic balance test is next. I have to lean left and right to keep my balance in the blue bars continuously for three seconds.

0:09 The bars get thinner and thinner as they go, but I finish all five with 2.98 seconds left. I am awesome. Drumroll, spotlight, and my Wii Fit age is ... 26. The Balance Board helpfully tells me that this is one more than my actual age. Thanks, Wii Balance Board! I couldn't do basic math without you!

0:10 The game urges me to set a goal BMI of 22, which would mean losing 19 pounds (or gaining a few inches of height, I suppose). I give myself three months for this lofty task.

0:12 With my goal established, the Balance Board tells me it won't be much help with training since I'll be standing on it the whole time. It's a valid point. I get to choose between two ripped, albino trainers, one male and one female. I choose the woman, who says "I'm looking forward to working out with you. Let's get to work and have some fun." That's what she said! Really, it is!

0:15 I start from the top with yoga and the deep breathing exercise, because breathing sounds simple enough for even an out-of-shape guy like me. "Good evening, let's do some deep breathing together." The woman trainer does a demo. The Wii actually instructs me on how to breathe. Was I doing it wrong all these years?