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Developer: Stardock
Publisher: Stardock
Release Date: June 16, 2008
System: PC
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site
0:00 I've been a political junkie since before I could vote, so this game should be right up my alley if it's at all good and/or accurate.
0:10 Since I count the annoying installation times on PS3 games, it's only fair that I count this game's somewhat ridiculous 10-minute installation sequence against it. There's not even any hints or fun animations or anything to make the time pass more quickly.
0:11 A remix of "Hail to the Chief" plays as bobblehead versions of political candidates hop down a street. Obama, McCain, Hillary and many more plaster trees with their signs as they hop their way to the White House. Cut to an interior shot, where Dubya is packing up. He hears rumbling outside, and all the candidates appear at the window, grinning like vultures. Is that Abe Lincoln?
0:12 There sure are a lot of tutorials, which I guess makes sense, because the average American knows about as much about the political system as they do about ancient Sumerian. It's all just pages and pages of text, so I'll skim through it. Back in a jiff.
0:18 I'm back. The game seems like a political version of a turn-based strategy game. Instead of slaughtering enemy units, you're fighting for political support. Instead of a hex-grid map, there's the map of Untied States. Instead of mining for resources, you solicit donations of money. Instead of building bases, you build state headquarters. You get the idea.
0:19 I go into campaign mode, where I can choose a candidate. The democrats are set to go against Ulysses S. Grant? Huh? Hasn't he been dead for a few years? If I pick a Republican, he'll go against Jimmy Carter. So the first round is incompetent historical politicians, then? Makes sense.
0:20 Among the standard Republican candidates (McCain, Giuliani, Romney, etc.) there's a green bug-eyed monster named Lord Kona! He ranks perfect tens in stamina, money and fundraising but only ranks a one in credibility. Heh. The makers are tipping their political leanings a bit by putting him in the GOP.
0:21 I decide to make my own candidate. Johnny Politician is a democrat from Maryland with a pot belly, a square chin and fabulous sparkling eyes. There are loads of options in the bobblehead creator -- reminds me of the Mii Channel on the Wii. I could waste many an hour here.
0:25 Tailoring personal characteristics and policy positions is tougher than tailoring a bobblehead. I minimize intelligence and experience and maximize charisma and comeliness, because I know what the American electorate likes.
0:27 There are over 50 issues on which I can have a stance, but I only have 99 "points" of, um, stance-ability to give to them -- and it takes 50 to be maximally for or against any one issue. I use this limited point spread to go for the Democratic hot buttons: abortion, affirmative action, alternative energy, education, gun control, the economy and the environment.
0:30 Just looking around at the candidates a bit. Barack Obama beats Bill Clinton in Charisma! Hillary Clinton is less "comely" than John Edwards! Dick Cheney has 7/10 credibility, somehow! These rankings are endlessly interesting to me. I wonder how they came up with them.