Crispy Gamer

TGS 2009: Teti and Jones Go To Tokyo Arcades, Vol. 1

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Last night Teti and I ate massive bowls of ramen in less than five minutes--the proper way to eat ramen apparently is fast--and then we walked off our ramen farts by taking a stroll around Shinjuku.

Shinjuku is rife with multi-storied arcades that appear to be open 24-7 and encourage cigarette smoking. Teti and I explored a few arcades, but we didn't really feel like any of the games we saw were calling out to us, until Teti--so he says--saw a game that featured some sort of toilet scene in it. The game was called BishiBashi. "Look, a toilet game!" he said.

I looked but I didn't see any toilets. "Right, suuuuure there were toilets," I said, folding my arms, playing the skeptic. How I love playing the skeptic. We both stood there watching the "attract" mode screen roll for the machine. "Wait, the toilets are coming," Teti said. "Just wait."

A few minutes passed. Still, no toilets.


Finally, Teti put 100 yen into the machine, and we started to play.

Gameplay consisted of pounding on three buttons as fast as possible to win some obscure contest. One of the mini-games consisted of folding origami. Another one consisted of taking photographs of a sexy lady. And still another one consisted of catching flying food on a skewer.

If you lost, a large heavy pan would drop on your avatar's head and one tiny white-gloved hand would--poof!--disappear at the bottom of the screen. When you were out of white-gloved hands, the game was over.

Teti won most of the games, I admit. Man, you should see him pound those buttons! He made a big racket which made some of the other arcade-goers stop and pay attention to us and blow cigarette smoke at us.

After it was over, I decided to dig Teti one last time. "You're telling me there was a toilet game in there?" I said. "You swear it?"

"Yes, I swear I saw a toilet game in there," he said. "I swear."

And I do believe him. Why would he make up something about a toilet game? Maybe today we'll go back and see the toilet game. It's Monday here, and we're in our hotel rooms following the Sunday football games via the Net.

Ah, Tokyo.