What "Boxing up the Dreamcast" Really Means
Got a large box from EA a week or two ago. After my inadvertent destruction of valuable swag last week (lesson learned), I opened this box very, very carefully.
Inside was a 15-inch-tall Eddie Riggs statue, star of Tim Schafer's latest, Brutal Legend.
There was no note, no card, no press release touting this or that. Just the statue and some styrofoam and a bit of bubble wrap.
The statue is pretty detailed, as far as statues go, right down to the belt buckle. Also: It's very heavy. It could probably be used as a murder weapon in the game Clue. "Professor Plum did it in the library with the Eddie Riggs statue."
Like all swag, it's kind of cool but I'm not sure that I want it in my house. I have the statue out on display at the moment, but I think that if a girl was coming over, I'd probably consider putting it away for the evening. You know. Just to avoid the awkwardness.
I once knew a guy who would box up his Dreamcast whenever his girlfriend would come over. Some guys clean the bathroom; others spend a little extra time grooming themselves. But Phil prepared for his dates by methodically boxing up his Dreamcast. The cords would be unplugged and coiled; the controllers and VMU units carefully stowed. Phil would shove the whole thing under his bed, as if it was some hideous part of himself that needed to be hidden away from the world.
In fact, the phrase "boxing up the Dreamcast" became shorthand for any sort of preparation that involved putting your better self out in the world.
"After the game, I have to box up the Dreamcast. Sheila's coming by later."
"Wendy's back from Indiana. Better get your Dreamcast boxed up."
"My parents are in town for the weekend."
Phil dated this girl for two years. And in that time, not once did she ever glimpse his Dreamcast.
I feel like she never got to know the real Phil, un-boxed Dreamcast and all.
If she had, maybe they might still be together today.