Games for Lunch: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII

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0:34 On a path in a forest. "Fort Tamblin is straight ahead!" Zack takes out three Wutai grunts that come in from above. Why Angeal doesn't help, I have no clue.

0:35 "Zack, do you know about dumbapples"?" asks Angeal. What did you just call me? Oh, wait, he was serious? Then he walks off without explaining further. What?

0:38 I know random battles are par for the course in these games, but it's really disconcerting to be walking along a deserted road and see three enemies just spring up from the ground, ready for combat. Still, I like that there's no break for loading debriefing. You get in and out really quickly (that's what she said!).

0:40 "So Angeal, what's the deal with dumbapples"?" Zack picks the conversation back up. Apparently they're the fruit of the Banora White tree, which bears fruit once a year. Angeal stole them when he was poor, but he didn't steal from one tree because the owner was his friend's father. "Honor can be quite a burden at times." "And what exactly does this have to do with me?" Zack understandably asks. "No story is not worth hearing," Angeal replies. Are you sure about that? I'm pretty sure that story was a waste of time, personally.

0:42 Just outside the fort, Angeal and Zack discuss strategy. An explosion is going to create a diversion for Zack to run in and kill things. "Indulge yourself," says Angeal. "That's what I do best," says Zack with all the giddiness of a kid on Christmas morning! The emotions really come through in these excellent cut scenes.

0:43 Still waiting for the explosion, Angeal explains why he doesn't use his sword much. "Use brings about wear, tear and rust, and that's a real waste... I can be... pretty cheap." "Yeah, no kidding." Well, that answers the not-helping question. Then the explosion goes off and we're jumping into battle.

0:45 A big battle with a few dozens soldiers outside the fort's gate. I notice that most of the soldiers just run around and don't do much. The biggest threats are the guards up above that can fire at me with guns. I can take them out with long-distance magic attacks. Wait, I thought they took my materia back at 0:24. What gives?

0:47 Inside the gate, more grunts go down quickly. Angeal calls Zack to warn him about a big monster that might be hiding in the fort. "If I take it out, do you think I'll make First?" That's one driven SOLDIER.

0:49 I'm in ur fortrizz, killin ur dudz.

0:50 New enemy alert: A blue lion thing with a purple drape over its torso. Goes down in three shots, like any other grunt. Yawn.

0:51 OK, these battles are decidedly less interesting when they happen once every five seconds. I literally can't get 10 steps without a new set of three grunts getting in the way. At least mix it up a little!

0:54 I come to a hallway with soldiers firing from afar. Hiding behind the corner, the game asks if I want to charge or find a different route. I decide to charge, and two of the gun-toting guys run away. Can't say I blame them. Judging by earlier battles, I'd be able to take them out with just two taps of the X button.