Corpse Run 229: Breaking Beans
Just before making my second JFK trip on Saturday, I chugged a ton of coffee which, as you might imagine, sent my colon into overdrive. While the unholy substances that forcefully escaped from the business end of my digestive track could have wiped out the whole of humanity, I was glad I drank it; I sure as hell wasn’t drowsy during the drive.
Camp keeps on chugging along, so here’s another silly camper story. As I’ve mentioned in a post recently, the camp I work at is pretty religious and has church services every Sunday. Running these services are numerous priests that visit camp for the weekends over the course of the summer.
Each priest will bring something different to the table: some are higher ranked than others, some are particularly swell singers, and some do extra activities with the kids the night before church.
We had one such fellow this past week who wanted to teach the kids about the nushkar, the communion bread used in Armenian church ceremonies. Being that I’m not religious, I had little interest in being there, but the priest had a powerpoint presentation so I had to set up the projector for him.
“How Make Offering to the Church” read the first slide.
Let’s forget about the grammar (the priest is not a native English speaker). He asked the kids to list different ways to give to the church. The kids ran through the usual suspects, “Money!” shouted one camper, “Volunteering!” pitched in another.
Choir singing, youth groups, item donations, etc. were all rattled off.
“Ok ok, is good,” said the priest, “anyone have other way to make offering to the church?”
A kid’s hand shot up.
“A lamb!” said the child, triumphantly.
The room, which had been echoing with the murmurs of hushed conversations, went silent.
“A lamb?” asked the priest, “how do you mean ‘a lamb?’”
“You know… to slaughter it.”
Oh kids… you really do say the darndest things, don’t you?